Two weeks ago, I went and got my hair cut by a stylist who did a great job. It looked very nice and pretty normal.  I lasted a whole week.  The other night I was watching a fashion competition and there was this woman with fabulous hair.  It was blonde and buzz cut but had this huge pompadour in the middle.  It was awesome.  I figured I could do something like that to my hair.  Now somehow in my deluded mind, I let the fact that she was 20 years younger, a good 90 lbs. thinner and probably 6 inches taller slip by me.  She was blonde, I was sorta blonde, she was a woman, I was even more of a woman.  So what’s the problem?  I should probably mention I had one hour before I had to leave to go to work and had to shower, etc. but how long could it take?  So I got my trusty hair clippers (someone should really do an intervention and remove them from my home) and looked in the mirror.  Instead of seeing reality (fat, bloated face,  liver spots, broken capillaries, yellowing teeth, once large brown eyes now covered in eyelid droop), I saw the fashion designer.  Huge blue eyes, flawless skin, cheek bones, gorgeous white teeth and an actual chin line…..I must have a magic mirror.   I decided where I wanted the buzz line to go and pinned up the hair I wanted to keep and slapped on a clipper guard and I was off to the races.  I should have put my cheaters on and read what guard I had slapped on since  after that first buzz, I thought….hmmm…..shorter than I wanted to start out with.  You always want to start longer and go shorter, but what the heck, eventually I would have gotten down to the 1/4 inch guard.  Just saving time.   I swear I get some sort of high buzzing off my hair….you would think that most normal women would be somewhat nervous seeing piles of hair falling into the sink and on the floor.  Not me.  It’s like I’m freeing myself from the burdens of my life.   Ok, so I get the back done and I let the hair down that was pinned up. Ooooo, a cool and unexpected thing happens.  I have these blonde longer pieces that just happen to flow to the middle of my head. I have now got a whole new idea.  But I am running out of time…..hurry…..hurry.  I part my hair way over to one side and put on the 1/2 guard and buzz down one side of my hair just in front of my ear.  One buzz, two buzzes, three buzzes.  Stop.  Take scissors and cut hair that is left at an angle up to my ear.  Dang, this is looking pretty good.   Now, the big dilemma.  Do I do the other side or do I leave it.  Take a glance at the clock….holy crap.  I gotta leave in 15 minutes.  Dilemma is over.  Time has run out.  I have won!!!!  BUZZER 10  ROBYN 1


About queenrobyn

61 yrs.old, wife, mother, grandma, artist, humorist, friend, caregiver, blogger, retired singer, rughooker, doll and mohair teddy bearmaker, born-again Christian, rebel, optimist, addicted Ebay shopper, collector (or hoarder as my husband would tell you), glamper, lover of all things old and worn (like me!)

2 responses »

  1. OMG you crack me up, reading this story because you were in a hurry, my heart was racing the whole time!! You are good 🙂

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