LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN….MRS. CLIFF CLAVEN

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I love facts.  I never remember them after I read them but once in a blue moon, one will stick in my brain and I will amaze my friends with my tidbits of knowledge.  So I decided to write them down and share them with you so next time you are in a group of intellectuals, you can can drop a factoid into the conversation and everyone will look at you in shocked awe.  Or just in shock.

1.  Writing about a heart-felt issue will help you shed pounds.  A study showed that women who wrote a 15 minute essay about something they felt strongly about, dropped an average of 3.4# in the following three months.  Women who wrote about nothing special GAINED 3# in those same three months.  Well, shoot.  Now I know how I got so fat.  I have been writing about nothing.  I wonder what topic I feel strongly enough about to lose 100#?

2.  Eating off of red dishes help you eat less.  I obviously don’t own enough red dishes!  And besides, a whole pizza just doesn’t fit on my one red plate.

3.  Your tongue should be bumpy.  A smooth tongue could mean you have an autoimmune disorder.  It should be pink.  A purplish color could point to a blockage of energy (mine should be near blackish if that were the case) or of blood suggesting a liver or gallbladder problem.  A coating of yellowish-brown may indicate an acute infection.  Ok, everybody run to the mirror and check out your tongue!

4.   Sugar makes you look older.  Here I thought it looked older because I was born in 1954.  So if I quit eating sugar will I have a face like Demi Lovato?

5.  There may be a link  between drinking soda pop and asthma and COPD (a lung disease).  So not only does pop rot your teeth, it also rots your lungs.

6.   If you use an alcohol-based mouthwash, you may have a greater chance of oral cancer.   A family member drinks her alcohol and I don’t believe I have ever heard her complain of bad breath!

7.Body issues are seldom about your body.   Hmmm, I must have poor eyesight then, cause everytime I look in the mirror, I have issues with what I see.

8.   Time you enjoy wasting isn’t wasted time.   I love this!!   I waste more time than anyone I know.  Because of a chronic illness, I have to lay down often at home and I usually can’t fall asleep so I daydream.  I get my best ideas for art works or businesses  when I am laying down.  Must be the increased blood flow to my brain.  Sometimes I get so excited, my heart races and I can’t wait to get up and get online to order new materials.  Unfortunetely, by the time the new materials arrive I have lost my mojo.  I literally have thousands of dollars worth of craft\art materials just waiting for me to be inspired ( and two more years of paying off the debt incurred by these times I have let “my fingers do the shopping”).   But I am glad that I have now scientific proof (Vogue magazine) that all those hours spent daydreaming aren’t wasted!

9.   The upside to grand failures: they make great stories (or blogs!!!)

10.   If you are depressed, take a walk in the woods.   Now I know this one to be true cause a few years ago I was in a major dark place and I decided to take a walk in our woods at dusk and sit on a rock and wait for some man-eating creature to come and have me for dinner.  So as soon as dusk fell, I got my large-Marge butt off the couch and walked out to the woods and sat down.  As I was sitting there, waiting,  I began to realize that the thought of being eaten by a bear was alot more romantic while I was sitting on my large-Marge in the safety of my couch than sitting on a cold rock in the woods with night falling and hearing the aforementioned creatures rustling in the nearby brush.  I made an all-time record race-walk back to the safety of my  house and I sure felt alot better when I got home!

11.  Fruit flies are actually Vinegar flies.  They are attracted to the odor of fermenting fruit.  In the human species they are called, “Winos”!

12.   And my last thought for today is a new life motto that I found.  THE HECK WITH WHAT I WAS, THIS IS WHAT I AM NOW!  Don’t you just love it?   I have bemoaned the fact that my face no longer has that youthful glow and that my eyebrows now rest on my eyelashes and those body parts that used to be facing North have gone South.  I am a better person today than I was back then.  And really, isn’t that the best thing I could ever wish for?  Besides, I never liked what I saw back then either.

Well, I hope today’s tidbits made you a tad smarter and just think how great you will feel when at your next meeting about the global issues affecting our world, you will be able to pop up and say, “Yes, but did you know that fruit flies are really Vinegar flies?”    Yessiree bob, I’m sure that will get you noticed.    You’re welcome.

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3 responses »

  1. Very enlightening…I like the one about sugar best because since I gave up sweets, it’s easiest. Now I’m considering buying some red dishes. Road trip, anyone? ‘ll tuck the vinegar fly fact away and pull it out at my next party…if I remember it that long.

  2. I just love reading your blogs they are really interesting. It gives me something to do when I feel down because I havent seen or talk to you in a long time.

  3. Speaking of craft projects, have you done anything with those natural dyes we bought from Australia, you know, back when we were into the teddy bears. My are still sitting in the box.

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