As everyone else in this country, I am trying to make some sense out of the shooting last Friday. But there really will never be any sense to what happened.
So how do we go on? I was supposed to go to a Christmas party on Friday night but after spending the entire afternoon glued to Fox news and crying, how could I go and have fun? It felt wrong. How could I laugh and enjoy myself when so many lives were changed that day? It felt like I would be dishonoring those babies and teachers who died. I should be mourning their deaths, not playing games and singing carols. So I chose to stay home.
What is the “etiquette” of behavior when something like this happens? Do we just do business as usual or are we called to take time to mourn these lives that were taken? The fact that such young children were killed has a greater impact on us, I think. I wasn’t so affected when those college kids were killed or when a bunch of adults are killed. Is it human nature to care more about those little lives? Or is it just me?
So when do I get back to my normal life? When do I start enjoying this Holiday season without guilt? Can I really watch my grandbabies open their gifts on Christmas and not be thinking the whole time of the tens of grandparents who won’t be holding their grandbabies this year? Is it OK to be happy?
Is anyone else struggling with this? I’m afraid the gunman has stolen so much more than those precious lives. Not only him but all the madmen who kill in churches and malls and hair salons and fast food joints. Places that only brought pleasure now bring fear.
I weep for the lives that were taken. I weep for the families. I weep for the communities. I weep for this country. I weep for us all.