ARE YOU MY MOTHER?

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Those who know me, know that my husband is 5.5 years younger than me.  He was barely out of high school when I nabbed him and he has always looked at least 10 years younger than he really is.  After we had been married a couple of years, my dad figured out how much older I was than my husband (he never was real good at math!) and one day he said to me in a voice filled with surprise, “Man, you really robbed the cradle”.  When we got married, I think my dad was just so happy that he no longer would have to mow my lawn or fix my car or do my home repairs that I could have married a junior high student as long as he could do those things for me!

About the time I was 35 and hubby was not yet 30, I decided to let my hair go natural (as in pretty grey) and I was into a more “Mother Earth” mode so I was wearing mostly jumpers and shifts and had let my hair get shoulder-length and being almost as round as I was tall, I suppose I had a “matronly” vibe going.  My husband dropped me off at a little store in Carlton while he went to the feed store and then was supposed to come into the store to get me since I could spend hours in there without some gentle prodding that it was time to go.  So I am shopping away and my daughter was with me and there was a man also in the store and two store clerks.  Now this particular store was also a craft store so they had long craft tables that you would sit at during the after-store hours classes.  Hubby came in (he had just gotten a brand new leather jacket and had sunglasses on and had a “flat-top” haircut and was spanking clean-faced) and he sat down on one of the chairs next to the table and I was checking out with my back to him.  The woman who was standing next to the check-out lady says to him, “Can I help you?” and I being the person I am, jumped in and spoke for my husband.  “Oh, he’s with me”, I said.  To whit the check-out woman chirps in a loud voice, “Oh isn’t that nice, he waiting for his MOTHER”!!!!   I could feel my face turning bright red and the other woman quickly says, “Oh Barb, that’s not her son, that’s her husband”.  Now, when I get embarrassed, I talk really fast and my voice gets higher and higher so there I am trying to make jokes but no one can understand me cause I sound like a chipmunk who had just inhaled helium and taken two hits of speed and the man who had been standing next to me starts laughing and I whip around and say to him in a voice that was so high and squeaky that all the mice in the shop came running out to pay homage to their Queen, “What are you laughing at”?

Well, I tell ya, I couldn’t get out of that shop fast enough.  Not only was I humiliated but I knew that my husband would NEVER let me forget that I was taken for his mother.  As we left in the car, I was practically in tears and my dear daughter says, “You know mom, if they thought dad was a teenager, you could have a son that age”.   That did make me feel better until we stopped at Walmart and I ran in and got a big ‘ol box of hair dye!

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About queenrobyn

61 yrs.old, wife, mother, grandma, artist, humorist, friend, caregiver, blogger, retired singer, rughooker, doll and mohair teddy bearmaker, born-again Christian, rebel, optimist, addicted Ebay shopper, collector (or hoarder as my husband would tell you), glamper, lover of all things old and worn (like me!)

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