Yes, I hate Valentine’s Day. I think it is a cruel “holiday” for most folks. If you are single, it the worse day of the year. Every where you look, “love” is in the air or should I say ON the air. How many commercials are pushing diamonds and other high-priced tokens of your love. It’s all a way for companies to make money on “love”. Let’s look at this closer.
In grade school you give out valentines. Back in the olden days, we did not have to give everyone in the class a valentine. Talk about pressure. You were a nervous wreck hoping that you’d get the most and terrified you’d get the least amount. And what was written on the front of the valentine was vastly important…was the word LOVE on it somewhere? If it was, you were in heaven but the poor boy who gave it to you would be in just the opposite place if his buddies saw that he had given you a card with LOVE on it. I remember rushing home to count my valentines and to see who they were from. I went to a tiny private school so you didn’t get a whole lot and there were usually more girls than boys in that school so if you got a valentine from one of the boys…you floated on air for the rest of the day until you went to school and found out that a classmate got a card from him also and her’s had LOVE on it. And so your heart was broken. I am so glad that most classrooms have a rule that every child gets a valentine. My heart breaks to think of the girls in my class who got only one or two valentines and never any from a boy. Reason #1 to hate Valentine’s Day.
As you got older, the stakes grew higher. If you had a new boyfriend come Valentine’s Day, what he gave you could make or break your relationship. And what to get him? Girls always out give guys. We love buying gifts but most guys are real uncomfortable getting gifts from girls they have just started going out with. Seems to them to be too “coupleish” and he may think she is getting too serious too fast and he gets scared and they break up soon after. Guys in high school could always get by with some flowers or a CD if they had been dating a girl for quite sometime. Jewelry was not usually given unless you had been going steady for more than a year and a necklace or bracelet was OK. Nowadays, I don’t have a clue what kids get each other (and do I really want to know????) Reason #2 to hate Valentine’s Day.
So now you are a newlywed. Your first Valentine’s Day as a married couple. I weep for the husband. The expectations of a newly married woman on Valentine’s Day is usually a no-win situation for the poor hubby. Especially if he has very little extra money. I’m afraid flowers and a box of chocolate aren’t gonna fly (unless she whips them at you in a fit of anger!) She has been seduced by all those commercials on TV. The more expensive the gift, the more you love her. But no matter how expensive the gift, if it isn’t exactly what she was hoping for, you are still in the dog house. And for goodness sake, make sure the card is a mushy one and not a funny one. Women at that point in their marriage need to know you are still happy you married them. Good luck all you young husbands. Reason #3 why I hate Valentine’s Day.
After 15 years of marriage, three kids, a full time job, a woman is just happy to either be taken out to dinner or to have her husband bring something home already cooked. She doesn’t have the energy to want to go out dancing and she knows she will fall asleep if taken to a movie. She is appreciative if you bring home flowers (as long as you didn’t spend too much money on them) and a nice card is always a sweet touch. By this time, tho, a woman would be so much more grateful if her husband just told her to go relax and take a bath and he would see to the dishes and getting the kids to bed. And if he really loves her, he will give her a back rub when they are in bed “with no strings attached”! He would have such a happy wife the next day that he may get an unexpected back rub that night!
After 30 years of marriage, most couples no longer care about such trivial stuff. By then you know how your husband/wife feels about you and no gift is going to change that.
I just feel so sorry for you folks out there that put so much stock into this day. I wonder how many relationships that were good went sour after this day because the man forgot, or didn’t give the right gift, or didn’t do something that the wife thought he should and she got all bent out of shape and they fought and harsh words were spoken. All over a stupid day that is fueled by greedy companies wanting to make us feel we need to spend money to show our loved ones how much we love them. What a crock of cow manure. I wonder how many suicides there are on this day. Lonely people who are driven to despair because everywhere they looked they saw pictures of happy couples and they had no one so they felt their lives had no meaning. How many single gals and perhaps even some guys are going to feel so bad today because they aren’t in a relationship. I hate this.
I beg you who are reading this and are not in a relationship to not give in to this propaganda. You do not need anyone to make you happy. Make yourself happy. Go buy yourself a gift today. Do you not love you? Buy yourself some flowers. Do you not deserve some beauty in your home. Value yourself. Don’t sit around and mope. Grab some friends and go out to dinner or a movie and have fun. You are special by yourself. Feel sorry for all the people who are in horrid relationships but are too afraid to be single to get out of them. Being in a relationship guarantees nothing. Don’t waste your life pining for one. This is it kids. One life. Everyone has an expiration date and no one knows when that is so start living. Live for yourself. Do things just for yourself. Make yourself happy.
And you gals that are in relationships. Don’t put so much pressure on your men. Look how your man treats you all the rest of the days of the year. If he loves you, you will see it many times over. Don’t ruin a good thing by having a hissy fit over this stupid day. Be grateful if he remembers and gets you something, no matter what it is. Maybe he is better at doing things to show his love. How many times during the year does he fill you car with gas, or wash it or clean it out. How about all the car repair stuff? Does he keep your car running well? That is love ladies. Think about how many things your man does for you in the course of a week. Little things. Big things. How he treats you the 364 days other than stupid Valentine’s Day is much more important than what he does for you on that one day.
For those that don’t know me, I am married to a terrific man who loves me everyday of the year and always buys me beautiful cards and gifts and I have told him that I want NOTHING for Valentines Day. Nada. Our anniversary is in four days and I told him I want nothing for that day, either. I do not need cards or gifts to feel his love. He shows it to me everyday in little ways like making coffee in the morning, bringing my heavy bag out to my car when I go to work, filling my car with gas, washing my car, shoveling the sidewalks, cleaning up the yard when I am expecting company, etc. etc. Nothing he could buy me could be more loving than those little acts of love he shows me daily.
So look around you and see the love acts your partner performs for you and know that that is true love. And join me in quest to abolish this awful day. Spread the word.
And to paraphrase a line from the movie, “Love Story”…”Love means never having to buy another Valentine card or gift again!”