As I was doing my daily magazine reading, I saw a picture of a wooden block cut in the shape of a house and they had put parts of an antique measuring tape on the windows and for the door and my first thought was, “Do I measure up at home?”.

Do I “need” to?  Shouldn’t home be the one place we can let down our guard, take off our public masks, be real?  But what if the real us is a jerk?  Do we have a right to unleash our bad selves on our family?

I am of two minds on this issue.

The selfish side of me says I should be allowed to be any way that I want in my own home.  It should be the place of refuge from the daily pressures of life.  The place where I feel safe.  Part of me envies those that live alone for they can be as ugly as they want and not risk hurting anyone.  To keep one’s home messy, tidy, organized, chaotic, whatever their way to be is.  To come home to silence after a day spent listening to inane chatter or disagreeable discourse.  To turn on the telly to whatever program they want to watch or just bask in the silence (tho, there is no such thing as true silence anymore…as I listen to my noisy appliances hum away).   To just be.

The other side of me says we have no right anywhere to be rude or hurtful.  There is a saying that says, “we should treat our guests as family and our family as guests”.  If we share our homes with others, don’t they have the same needs as we do?   Should not our homes be a haven for us all?

So how do we all get our “home as a castle” needs met?  I suppose if everyone had their own room that they could retreat to for privacy or for some downtime before gathering as a family that might help.  I rather like the idea of a main room that connects different parts of a house so that each member could have some space of their own.  I have often thought that many a marriage could be saved if each person had a “home” of their own and a main room for getting together that connected each “home”.   That way if one person is cluttery and the other a neat-nik, there would be no fighting as each person could keep their part of the house however they liked it.  Of course if you have kids, I don’t know how that could work.  But I am of firm resolve that each person needs a private spot.  A spot all of their own, a place that reflects their personality, a personal space that no one else can enter (without permission).

What do you think?  Do you have a special place in your home where you can chill out?  I do, but like my personality it is a jumble of clutter.  All good stuff but not organized so to go into that room (aka The Crap Room) is not at all peaceful.  I really should recruit a couple of my Seratonin Sisters who are genius’s at organization and get them down there to straighten me out!


About thelumberjackandthegypsy

The lumberjack is my husband and he owns Arrowhead Wood Products; Arrowhead Toboggan and Snowshoe; and Lake Superior Furniture Co. and is the exclusive manufacturer of wood shutters for Summit Hill Shutter Co. The gypsy is me, and I have a passion for teaching people to tap into their creative side, even when they think they don't have one! I did not grow up creative or artsy and I was in my thirties before I started sewing and creating things. I am a rug hooker; artisan teddy bear maker; painter (from pictures to large pieces of furniture!); knitter; doll maker; needle-felter, repurposer; sewer; decorator; blogger; glamper; reader; vintage jewelry maker; junker; and now a shop owner. But the lumberjack and I feel our greatest gifts in this world are our four grandkids and our daughter and her husband and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We have been married for more than 33 years and most of that time we have lived out in the country on a hobby farm where we have raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, goats, pigs and beef cattle. We also homeschooled our only child for her entire school years. We lived out our dream of being like the The Little House on the Prairie and they were great times. I also have a personal blog: rantingsofamadqueen.wordpress.com where I tell stories of what life on the farm has been like and other things that pop up in my very weird mind. I prefer "quirky or eccentric" instead of weird (sounds more fascinating and less creepy)!

2 responses »

  1. You’re right…we all need our private space. Even when sharing a home with others. I don’t think we have a right to treat others badly, but we do need a confidante…someone who will listen to us when we need to vent and not judge us…someone we can trust implicitly.

    And, I’d be happy to help organize your space…sounds like a a task for the Sisters.

  2. the hubby and I retired at the same time…we both need our space…his is in front of the television and mine is in my bedroom with a glider rocking chair so I can have “quiet” to read…it works : )

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