I spent the most delightful day yesterday with a bunch of A.S.S.S’s. Each month we gather (usually at my place) for a “mystery craft day”. Since I have accumulated more supplies than a Hobby Lobby store, I wanted to share my bounty with my “sisters” and declared that I was going to provide most everything needed to do a project a month and all they had to bring was their own lunch. (I will give you anything I own, just please don’t ask me to make food!)
The A.S.S.S’s were thrilled as most of us love to make stuff and love to gather together for some estrogen-bonding.
As I thought about what kind of projects I wanted to do, I was struck with the thought that we needed to make this time, “Self -Awareness/Discovery/Acceptance/Love”. Each project I create focuses on the individuality of every woman in the group. No creating for someone else. This is all about “ME”. To discover who I am. What do I like? How do I really see myself? The results have been fascinating.
As soon as I figure out how to put photos on this blog, I will write about the projects and show photos of our works!
What about you? Do you know who you are? How do you perceive yourself? Do you have a core group of friends that you know “have your back’? Do you make your time together a priority? As an older and wiser woman, I would plead with you to make the time to connect with your “bosom friends”. True friends sustain us when the world comes crashing down on us as it sometime does.
I am blessed to have a couple of different circles of friends. Old friends, church friends, work friends, neighbors, out-of-town friends, in-town friends. I’m sure most of you do, too. It is hard for me to connect with most of them, physically, because of my work schedule and my chronic illness that zaps my energy but when we do finally get together, it’s like we just spoke yesterday. That my friends, is a true friendship. We overlook each other’s faults and quirks and focus on what makes us friends…that deep connection…be it memories, children, school days, spirituality, shared hobbies, etc.
Some friendships seem to just happen for a “season”. There is an instant connection that burns bright and hot for a time and then it starts to dimmer and then extinguishes. There was never an argument or harsh words, just a gradual slipping away from the intensity of the early friendship. I have experienced those in my life, also.
I cannot explain what links us together. Or why some links are stronger than others. Or why some links break. I am just grateful for the time we are linked.
If you are a person who lacks friends, may I suggest you do two things?
First, take a good look at yourself. Are you a “taker” or a “giver”? I don’t mean materially but emotionally. Do you suck the marrow out of people by your neediness? Do you always look to others for your needs? Is your first thought always, “What can this person do for me?”. Friendships that are one-sided can only last for so long before the other person is worn-out from always giving to you. It’s time for you to take stock of what you give to others. Stop being so emotionally greedy. You are not the only person with needs. Once you stop your pity party and make some changes in yourself and start giving to others, for the sake of the other person and not what you will get in return, you will start to develop real friendships. One friend at a time. And don’t stop with just one friend. Or just one group of friends. The more you give of yourself, the more you will get back. And BE SINCERELY CHEERFUL. Nobody likes to hang around a complaining, whiny, negative person. Yes, you may have problems, but unless that person is the cause or the cure, don’t burden others with your tales of woes constantly. They will start to avoid you.
Once you are ready for true friendships, then get out there and be proactive. Invite others to your home or out for coffee. Don’t wait for them to come to you. And if they say no, or have plans, or whatever, don’t take it as a sign they don’t like you. Try again, Try three times and if they never can make it, then that’s OK and move on. You will find people who will want to be around you (as long as you took my advice earlier!). Everyone nowadays IS very busy so it may take awhile to connect but don’t give up. Be cheerful. Be the kind of person you want others to be to you. Loneliness is a state of mind not a physical state. I am alone a lot and I have a great time all by myself. I enjoy my own company. Do you enjoy yourself?
Well, this turned out to be not what I was going to write about but I just go with the flow and sometimes I am surprised by what comes out! Perhaps someone needed to hear this. I would love to hear about your friendships and if you have any words of wisdom, please share them with me.
To my friends who are reading this….I love you all….and I will try to get together with you as I am able. I am always up to a visit from you at my house as long as you bring your own food (LOL) and don’t mind the dust sheep laying about! Just give me a call and I’ll put you on my “social calendar”!!!