MELANCHOLY BLUES

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A new day is breaking and instead of being blissfully asleep, I am sitting in my lazy arse chair contemplating life.  

Usually daybreak brings with it an excitement; what might this day hold?  But for some reason today a sadness is being ushered in and I can’t put my finger on the reason why.

Life is good.  Everyone I love is well and happy.  I am taking a leave from my job for a few months.  I have no pressing worries.  So I have no reason to be sad….

Perhaps in part is the knowledge that time is passing by way too quickly.  I no longer have the luxury of  my Scarlett O’Hara thinking.  “Tomorrow” is here and if I don’t do what I have put off for so long, the chances of ever doing it is rapidly fading away.

Perhaps it’s the fact that three of my friends have just lost a parent and eventho my own mom is in excellent health, she is 82.  82….seems impossible for her to be that age. I think because she has always been so vivacious and active, I forget that she isn’t immortal.  That there may be a day when she isn’t the life of the party.

Perhaps it is the state of this world; the random violence, the hatred of one religion against another, the endless tragedies, the calling of “evil good and good evil”, the lack of respect for life, the filth and perversion in the media, the fracturing of families, and I could go on and on.

Perhaps it is nothing more than brain that needs to get back to a normal sleep pattern. To sleep when it’s dark and to be awake when it’s light instead of being awake most of the night and then cat napping during the day and waking up not knowing if it is night or day or if I have overslept or if I should be somewhere.  I have seriously started to wonder about my memory….

The sun is now rising above the tall pines out my window.  The cows are happily chomping down their hay.  I hear the birds chirping and the frogs croaking.  A couple of deer, so gray in color that they blend into the leafless tress, are grazing on the tiny patches of new grass.  The chickadees are at the birdfeeder.  There is a feeling of expectation in the air….what will this new day bring?

I think I shall go now and turn on some soft praise music and sit with my face in the sun and count my blessings and give thanks to the One who has brought me thru this night and a thousand others and offer up this new day to Him.  He knows the number of my days and the trials and tribulations; the joys and the sorrows; the laughter and the tears that each day might bring.  I need only to rest in Him.

Yes, it is going to be a good day after all….

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