“E” IS FOR EXERCISING

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image I know some of you are going to be shocked when I tell you this, given the state of my body but….I don’t exercise.  Not one bit.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch. Unless you can count these activities as exercise:

imageimageI have actually come up with the Lazy Person’s  Exercise.  It is perfect for those of us that have to loll in bed in the morning before rolling out.  I call it, “Psycocybernetic Exercise”.  Years ago I read a book called, “Psychocybernetics” which was all about visualizing what you want so by the time you actually do it, it has become second nature and you will succeed because you have done it so many times in your mind that your body thinks you have already accomplished it.

So…I got to thinking why couldn’t I just visualize exercising?  Would my body actually think it was working out?  Well, much to my surprise, as I visualized doing crunches and leg lifts and all the things I used to do when I was much younger and thinner, my body actually moved those muscles!!!!  I kid you not.  My problem is I have AADD and it is just a work out to keep focused.  So before I write my best selling book, “The Lazy Person’s Guide To Exercise”, I need to get some cold, hard data.

So starting tomorrow, (you always start something new either on a Monday or the beginning of the month and should the beginning of the month fall on a Monday, well success is practically guaranteed!  Tho, if I remember correctly, the first day of 2000 fell on a Monday and I was going to change my life…hmmm, I must have been on Hawaii time) I am going to measure myself, (mercy, that is going to be a shock to my self-esteem) and each morning in June, I am going to do my Psycho Exercises (my nickname for them…how appropro, eh?) and see if I can really tighten my body just by using my brain!!!!   I might as well as I don’t seem to be using it for anything else!

imageAnyone want to join me in this experiment?  I will dedicate my book to you and take you on my book tour as an example of how it works.  We could be on Dr. Oz together!  Oprah might come to my house to interview me….oh, crap….that would mean I would have to clean…wonder if I can Psycho Clean my house???

To Psycho Exercise you need to lay down on your back (in bed works just fine) and clear your mind (mine is clear for a nanosecond).  Visualize your self as you would be in real time.  I like to start out from my neck and work down because that is how I used to do it back when I actually did it!  You should feel your neck muscles moving and if you don’t then you are not concentrating enough (or I am just crazy, which may be the case and then I will have to change the name of my best seller to, “The Crazy Person’s Guide To Fitness”).  I visualize myself doing arm curls and my biceps really contract but the best one is when I “do” crunches…my stomach contracts with each visual crunch!  Now, if your muscle is moving it has got to be doing some good, eh?

I may have come up with a billion dollar idea!  I could own franchises of Visual Gyms and have my own line of work out wear!!!  I would call it, “The Emperor’s Clothing Line” (if you have no idea why….Google the book, “The Emperor’s New Clothing”).

imageAnd just think, all of this fame and fortune just because I was too lazy to exercise the normal way.  HAH!   Normal is soooo overrated!

imageLet me know if you are joining me and I will have make us T-Shirts to wear while we “Visualasize”…dang, I am even adding new words to the culture of the world.  I am gooooood.

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About thelumberjackandthegypsy

The lumberjack is my husband and he owns Arrowhead Wood Products; Arrowhead Toboggan and Snowshoe; and Lake Superior Furniture Co. and is the exclusive manufacturer of wood shutters for Summit Hill Shutter Co. The gypsy is me, and I have a passion for teaching people to tap into their creative side, even when they think they don't have one! I did not grow up creative or artsy and I was in my thirties before I started sewing and creating things. I am a rug hooker; artisan teddy bear maker; painter (from pictures to large pieces of furniture!); knitter; doll maker; needle-felter, repurposer; sewer; decorator; blogger; glamper; reader; vintage jewelry maker; junker; and now a shop owner. But the lumberjack and I feel our greatest gifts in this world are our four grandkids and our daughter and her husband and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We have been married for more than 33 years and most of that time we have lived out in the country on a hobby farm where we have raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, goats, pigs and beef cattle. We also homeschooled our only child for her entire school years. We lived out our dream of being like the The Little House on the Prairie and they were great times. I also have a personal blog: rantingsofamadqueen.wordpress.com where I tell stories of what life on the farm has been like and other things that pop up in my very weird mind. I prefer "quirky or eccentric" instead of weird (sounds more fascinating and less creepy)!

3 responses »

  1. I’m in! I like the idea of the clothing line, and maybe it could be expanded to exercise machines, for which the product line could be called caveat emptor? By the way, I tried that visualization last night after sipping on a glass of wine. I imagined working out, doing curls and pushups. Something happened, because the next thing that I remember was hitting the snooze on my alarm clock at 5:30AM. . I must have exercised too much.

    Love the post!

    Rob

    • Hi Rob!
      Thanks for the funny comment! I did just purchase a Zumba Gold DVD and it came with two “batons” so now I can visualize I am a majorette, too! I think I am on to something here!

      Robyn, the Mad Queen

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