AND THE AWARD FOR “WORST WIFE EVER” GOES TO…

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ME!

Yesterday was my 32nd wedding anniversary.

And how did we spend it you ask?

Pretty much like how we have spent the last 32 years…Scott was gone when I got up, came home for a couple of hours (brought me flowers, pizza, cheesecake and donuts) and then when it came time for me to “die to self” and do something nice for him,  I dropped the ball.  I had told him that my gift to him was that I would go with him to the trade show we are doing and help man the booth for five hours.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I could no more sit and make small talk with hordes of people who I am hoping will buy something from us, than I could run a quarter-mile (actually I would do the quarter mile more readily because it would kill me faster).

So instead he ended up taking a neighbor lady and I stayed home and ate pizza and watched TV.   At least I was up when he got home (which depending on what his schedule is may or may not happen that often) and we sold a bookcase and a Wannigan.  (A wannigan is a box that fits into a canoe and holds your gear or food or whatever.  We make stands for them so they can be used as side tables or coffee tables and come in small, medium and large….two large and the small are shown….mediums are sold out as of today)

As unusual as our marriage may seem to others, it works for us.   I think one of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage is to look at other marriages and compare yours to their’s.   We went through that for many years but once we decided to just focus on what works for us, we are much happier.

Scott has a tremendous gift for serving others.  And I am so blessed daily by his gifting.  He also allows me to be “me” and if you know me or follow my adventures on this blog, you will understand how much patience and understanding he has!  He also has come to realize and laugh about my complete and total lack of common sense.  (An example: The day that we set up for the trade show, we had to take two vehicles and I had to follow him into Duluth to the DECC since I had no idea as to where to go.  No problem there…followed him right up to the unloading zone.  He brought me right up to where we were to set up while he and some guys hauled everything in.  Then he had to go move our vehicles to the parking area.  Took us five hours to set everything up and by that time I was a little “pain drunk” and couldn’t wait to get home so I wasn’t really at my best brain function.  So Scott showed me where my car was parked and he went back into the place to bring back a cart.

SIDE NOTE: my car is slowly falling apart and Scott has no time to fix it and since I am a semi-recluse it really doesn’t matter too much UNTIL I go to use it and I find out that:

A: the hood is wired shut since someone did not shut it properly and it flew up and smashed the windshield while going 70 plus mph (had I been driving, I would not be here to tell the tale as I do not do well in most emergencies…I scream, I call out to Jesus, I shut my eyes, and I slam on the brakes)

B:  Since the hood incident, the lights on the dashboard suddenly go out leaving you literally in the dark as to how fast you are going, how much gas you have,  and everything else the gauges tell you.  Plus, the lights go out on the gear stick thingy so you don’t know what gear you are in.  Oh, and the brights don’t work and you can’t get to the windshield wiper fluid holder since the hood is wired down and the windows are really dirty.

C:  the same person who did not properly shut the hood also has a tendency to not shut the hatch-back door all the way so as you drive the rear roof light keeps popping on.

Ok, back to my example…..so I leave the parking area only to discover that the way I thought we came in has two huge red-lettered signs proclaiming NO EXIT and cars are coming IN and I am attempting to go OUT.  So I panic and make a quick U-turn in front of the oncoming cars and see a small sign that says EXIT so I follow that past a huge empty parking lot and I come to a place to get out but it has those guard arm things and I have no ticket to put in it to make them open up.   So I backup, which is not easy when your hatchback window is filthy and the damn light keeps popping on and I make for the empty lot to sit and figure out how on earth I am going to get out of this place and thank God I don’t have to pee (every woman reading this will totally understand that statement!)  Suddenly a truck drives by headed to the arm-guard exit and I watch them stop and the arm goes up and I wonder if they had the magic ticket or not, so I drive back up there and cautiously pull up to the arm and EUREEKA it opens up and I am free!!!!  Had that truck not come by, I would still be sitting there because I follow the rules so I would never have tried to go out the NO EXIT place since there were people in those little booths to see me and had I had the four-wheel drive vehicle I may have, in frantic desperation, gone over the curb and ground next to the arm-guards but in my already fragile-bodied Matrix, I knew better than to attempt that!  I am ditzy, not stupid!

So now I am tooling down the freeway hoping that I am going somewhere near the speed limit, that I have enough gas to get home, that the roads are dry so no one splashes more dirt on my windshield cause I am having to look between the smear marks as it is and that flippin’ light in the rear keeps popping on and off and it is driving me cray-cray so I get off the freeway and pull over and jump out of my car to go and close that stupid hatchback door and for one heart-stopping moment I wonder if I accidentally locked the car door (I’m afraid it would not be the first time) and there I would be….stranded in the dark and cold….no phone….no money, too much in pain to be able to walk anywhere and you know I would instantaneous have to pee…..but God in His mercy allowed my brain to function and I had not locked the door!

So back on the freeway I go….letting everyone pass me so I know I am within the speed limits, hoping I was in Drive and not 2nd and trying to see the few feet in front of me that my dirty low beams were allowing me, praying there were no gangs of punk teenage deer egging each other on as to who could dash out in front of a car and make it across the road.. I know they do this because everyone I know has hit one or more of these juvenile delinquents and we all have the dents on our vehicles to prove it!

Finally I pull into my driveway and I realize that I have driven both to town in the daylight and back home on the lit freeway with two child-sized mannequins seatbelted next to me in the front seat and no one gave them a second look, not even the cop who drove towards me during the day.   I then wondered how many people get into accidents with mannequins and how freaky that must be for the rescue folks and if I was happy not to have had an accident or a bit bummed cause it would have been kinda cool to see how the cops would have reacted to seeing two blonde plastic kids on the road dressed in winter and summer clothes (see….this is how I think and my husband knows this and still loves me and is rarely afraid to go to sleep at night eventhough you never can be sure what might be in store for him when he awakes!)

So I had to take a photo of them:imageBut my winter kid had it’s hat over it’s eyes and so in the dark I pulled it up and took another photo and when I looked at it, it scared the crap out of me!

imageTheir heads are NOT moveable and I swear it was looking right at me…..so I left them in the car for the night, hoping my mailman would not have any packages for us, since he often leaves them in our car if we don’t hear him beep for us to come out to his car.   I’m not sure if he would have been surprised or not, since you can imagine all the weird things he has delivered to me over the years….but I will save that for another blog post!

So next time you see my husband, give him a pat on the back and tell him he is is true saint and God bless him for staying married to me for all these years!

I LOVE YOU SCOTT HENRY!

Your Queen,

Robyn

 

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About thelumberjackandthegypsy

The lumberjack is my husband and he owns Arrowhead Wood Products; Arrowhead Toboggan and Snowshoe; and Lake Superior Furniture Co. and is the exclusive manufacturer of wood shutters for Summit Hill Shutter Co. The gypsy is me, and I have a passion for teaching people to tap into their creative side, even when they think they don't have one! I did not grow up creative or artsy and I was in my thirties before I started sewing and creating things. I am a rug hooker; artisan teddy bear maker; painter (from pictures to large pieces of furniture!); knitter; doll maker; needle-felter, repurposer; sewer; decorator; blogger; glamper; reader; vintage jewelry maker; junker; and now a shop owner. But the lumberjack and I feel our greatest gifts in this world are our four grandkids and our daughter and her husband and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We have been married for more than 33 years and most of that time we have lived out in the country on a hobby farm where we have raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, goats, pigs and beef cattle. We also homeschooled our only child for her entire school years. We lived out our dream of being like the The Little House on the Prairie and they were great times. I also have a personal blog: rantingsofamadqueen.wordpress.com where I tell stories of what life on the farm has been like and other things that pop up in my very weird mind. I prefer "quirky or eccentric" instead of weird (sounds more fascinating and less creepy)!

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