ROSIE THE RIVETER I’M NOT!

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While I certainly agree with this statement, I can not claim to be able to do anything remotely mechanical, or electrical, or plumbical (I know it’s not a word but it should be).

I was out today in my camper trying to redecorate and by that I mean put up some pictures and plaques.  It was not pretty.

I have that awful stuff from the big box DIY store that looks like bead board but is made out of some weird crap called Masonite.  You can not easily pound nails into it. And I should know better because we had it in our daughter’s room and it was near impossible to put anything up on her walls.  But I am an eternal optimist or a bubble off of plumb as I attempted to pound tiny little nails into the walls of my camper.

And to make matters worse, it was HOT in there.  And I don’t do HOT.

After a good hour of pounding, missing, pounding, missing, cursing, pounding, bending the nail, cursing, pounding, dropping the nail, cursing, looking for the nail,cursing, sweating, pounding, missing, cursing, cursing, cursing, I decide I needed to plug in the electricity so I could use the fan.  I really contemplated turning on my AC but by now my brain was fried and for some reason I instead chose the fan.

Fan is running and I decide maybe using my new little drill might be easier than pounding in nails so I plug it in and attempt to figure out which way is forward and which way is backward…”righty~tighty, lefty~loosely”.  Then I have to figure out how to put in the drill bit (oh my gosh, is an electric screwdriver the same thing as a drill?  This is shaped like a gun, so I am assuming it is a drill….am I right?) and does it need that long attachment piece?  By now, I have been baking at 375 degrees for way more than an hour and I look at the fan and I notice that the cord is in the front of it (it is a really cool old vintage fan) and so I turn it around and lo and behold, I had had the fan facing backward….about now my frustration level is up around “I need a hot fudge sundae as big as a mixing bowl” and I am just about ready to either cry or set the damn thing on fire.

I am having some gal pals over on Saturday and I wanted to have my camper all redone in my new theme (vintage cowboy) and of course, I wait until the last possible moment because stress must be my drug of choice and I’m an addict.

Ok, drill in hand, I find some screws and attempt to screw one in.  Can’t remember which way to push the lever to make it go in, have to look again at screw gun and try each way to see which is “tighty” and which way is “loosey”.  Put screw back up and start driver and screw falls down behind cushion.  Locate screw while adding new words to my cursing vocabulary.  Put screw up where I want it, not sure which way to push lever AGAIN, take screw down, push levers to see which is “tighty” and which is “loosey” all the while thinking I must be on the brink of dementia since I can’t seem to remember how to run the *&%^%$ drill.   Third try is the charm, right?   Nay, nay.

Now the screw has fallen on the floor somewhere and the sweat is dripping off my face and my Van Wave temper is just about to blow and I am debating on either throwing the drill through the screen door or just screaming at the top of my voice until I stroke out.

How flipping hard can it be to put one tiny screw into a piece of real beadboard?  Seriously…… I raised a child.  I held jobs.  I drive a car.  I sang Italian arias.  I have created hundreds of different pieces of arts and crafts.  I should be able to screw one lousy screw in and pound a small nail in straight, right?

Apparently not.

I have resorted to smashing tacks into the walls with a hammer and hand screwing the screws in after smashing a nail in to make a hole to screw the screw in.    After putting up a couple of things I decided it was time for a break and a cold one and a hot burrito would make it all better.

Two hours later, I am still breaking.  I may be breaking all the rest of the night.

Your Queen (who can’t do anything normal)

Robyn

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About thelumberjackandthegypsy

The lumberjack is my husband and he owns Arrowhead Wood Products; Arrowhead Toboggan and Snowshoe; and Lake Superior Furniture Co. and is the exclusive manufacturer of wood shutters for Summit Hill Shutter Co. The gypsy is me, and I have a passion for teaching people to tap into their creative side, even when they think they don't have one! I did not grow up creative or artsy and I was in my thirties before I started sewing and creating things. I am a rug hooker; artisan teddy bear maker; painter (from pictures to large pieces of furniture!); knitter; doll maker; needle-felter, repurposer; sewer; decorator; blogger; glamper; reader; vintage jewelry maker; junker; and now a shop owner. But the lumberjack and I feel our greatest gifts in this world are our four grandkids and our daughter and her husband and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We have been married for more than 33 years and most of that time we have lived out in the country on a hobby farm where we have raised chickens, turkeys, ducks, goats, pigs and beef cattle. We also homeschooled our only child for her entire school years. We lived out our dream of being like the The Little House on the Prairie and they were great times. I also have a personal blog: rantingsofamadqueen.wordpress.com where I tell stories of what life on the farm has been like and other things that pop up in my very weird mind. I prefer "quirky or eccentric" instead of weird (sounds more fascinating and less creepy)!

7 responses »

  1. “stress must be my drug of choice and I’m an addict”….you had me laughing out loud and again Dean asks me, “what’s so funny?”. Thanks Robyn. Try again tomorrow, maybe it won’t be so hot.

    • My plan was to get up early and get out there today but instead I am watching my oldest three grands! And I am afraid that by the time they leave later today or tonight old Babushka will be too pooped to do anything but veg out. When I will actually get my house cleaned is anyone’s guess!!! I wish when you were old and lost a tooth and put it under your pillow instead of a tooth fairy you could get a housecleaning fairy…..I would be toothless by now!

    • Karen, even though I hate being under stress, I must have some unconscious need for it since everything I do, I do at the last minute. I never learn. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result? That is me!

  2. You and I definitely share the addiction to stress. Can’t function without a tight timeline. Can’t wait to see the glamper, and I won’t care if it’s not done, either! I prefer to deal in “I’m going to…” rather than “I’ve done…” I’d have nothing to say if I could only talk about things I’ve finished.

    • Margaret, that is why you and I are such close friends! And as far as the camper….well, let’s just say by the time I got done with my break, it was getting dark and I just closed it up undone.
      My plan was to get up super early this morning and get back at it. But instead am babysitting the Wild Ones and so NOTHING is getting down today including cleaning the house for tomorrow. I have Martha Stewart dreams in a Lucy Ricardo life……

  3. Ahh.. sometimes I ask the very same questions myself.. I used to be soo good at doing everything all by myself until.. I got a husband!! 😀 😀
    May your week ahead be a magical one with the ones you love.
    Dajena 🙂 🙂

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