Verborum vomitus is Latin for “verbal vomit”. I had a an attack of verborum vomitus today while at the post office. It was not pretty.
I remember when I was a kid/teenager/adult and I would be with my mom and she would be checking out or something where she did not need to have a conversation with anyone but instead chatted the whole time, giving information that I knew the person being verbally vomited on could not care less about. And I would feel bad for the person who had to listen.
Well Karma is a b*tch, ain’t it?
Because I have entered that phase of my life where Lord help me, I verbally vomit all over the place. Add caffeine to the mix and I am like a college freshman after their first frat party….spewing forth all over the place.
My friends from church used to love when I would be at a party and have a cup or two of coffee because I would put on a verbal show for them. Often when we would leave the party, I would have to ask my poor daughter if I had crossed any lines as once I got going it was like I had lost all sense of decorum and stuff would just fly from my mouth without first having been sifted through my brain filter. I have never taken speed but I can imagine it must be something like that.
So today I had to venture out to mail some packages and I did not want to get all cleaned up just to run to the post office (remember I live in the country, my mailman has seen me in every early morning get-up imaginable and every hair color/style/cut known to man so to run to the local PO in my painting clothes and no make-up is not a big deal.) but since I had gotten the notion to buzz on side of my head in the delusion of having a funkier hairstyle and it turned out looking like I have mange, I threw a scarf around my head and hoped to meet no one I knew.
Luckily as I pulled into the parking lot of the PO, there was nary a car there so I grabbed my packages and ran in. I haven’t been to the PO in ages and the last time I was there, the Postmistress was not real friendly and so I was pleasantly surprised to see a new woman behind the counter and she was very friendly.
Big Mistake on her part….not only had I had two STRONG cups of coffee but I had also not eaten so I was on a wild caffeine high, plus when I get nervous, I talk more and faster and my voice octave rises. OMG. I chatted up such a storm that papers were flying around and she was forgetting to put labels on my packages, and yet, I kept talking….faster and faster…..higher and higher…..I felt like I could not stop eventhough I was getting this…..I even showed her my mange spot….dear Lord….what is wrong with me?
I can just imagine the story she will tell tonight over dinner about the crazy woman in the red crocs and purple sweats in the big black coat with a scarf around her head who has a bald spot in her orangutan orange hair because she thought she would look better with it cut like that…..man, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall!
Till next time,
I remain your caffeinated Queen