Category Archives: ROYAL ADVICE (TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

NEW CLASSIFICATIONS FOR FOLKS OVER FIFTY

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imageIS THIS TRUE OR WHAT?

I would be willing to bet that most of us over 50, woke up one day and looked into the mirror and thought, “Damn, when did I become this old person when I do not feel old inside?”

I know for me, when I write or tell someone I am 61, it always surprises me that I am really that age.  It just feels false.  I am now older than many of my relatives who died when I thought they were “old”.   I wonder, did they feel young inside, too?  Or because they lived in a whole different era, were they “old” before their time?

With this in mind, I would like to propose a new classification of what to call us besides “Senior citizens” since anyone 55 to 120 is lumped together in one class.

Here is my suggestion (and please feel free to share this with everyone you know who is 50 or better)!

NEW CLASSIFICATIONS OF AGING BY QUEEN ROBYN

50-59 years~THE FRESHMEN CLASS OF AGING

60-69 years~THE SOPHOMORE CLASS OF AGING

70-79 years~THE JUNIOR CLASS OF AGING

80-89 years~THE SENIOR CLASS OF AGING

90-99 years~ THE UNDERGRAD CLASS OF AGING

100-110 years~ THE GRADUATE CLASS OF AGING

111 years and up~ THE ALUMNI YEARS OF AGING

Don’t you just love it?  I am so comfortable being called a SOPHOMORE citizen.  It makes me feel so much younger than being called a “Senior citizen”.    If we have to have labels on our age, let’s change them to reflect where we really are in the SCHOOL OF THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE.

So, what do you think of this?  Are you on board?  Will you classify yourself now as one of the above?  Let’s spread this around.  Let’s make it viral so everyone can see it and we will all have something else to talk about other than The Donald, Bathroomgate, how Prince died (does it matter?  The man was a genius no matter what) and anything to do with the Kardashian Klan!  Let’s change how the world classifies us that are over 50!!!!

WE STILL ROCK N ROLL, BABY.

Sending you all groovy vibes…..

Queen Robyn, Sophomore citizen and damn proud of it!

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TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE~THIS IS THE QUESTION

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I have the perfect solution to the controversy of having transgender folks using the bathroom of their choice.  Make all bathrooms private ones.  The kind that have a sink and a toilet and a changing table and throw in a urinal and every one is happy!  If you have kids you bring them in with you or you stand outside the door (which locks).  I personally like these kind better anyway.  Heck, you can even label them MEN or WOMEN 0r UNISEX…it doesn’t matter cause there ain’t gonna be no one else in there with you (other than whomever you invite in with you!).

Am I possibly  the only person who has thought this?

Yes, it may take some monies to put these kinds of bathrooms in but if stores want happy customers, they will fork over the dough to make it happen.  It’s a win~win for everyone as I see it.

What are your thoughts on this?

With love from your Common Sense Queen

OPINIONS ARE LIKE NOSES~EVERYONE HAS ONE

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I am curious.  How influenced are you by the opinions of others?

I just had a conversation with someone who was so excited to get a new hair~do but when she showed the photo of this new do, family members told her, “it isn’t you”.  So now she is second-guessing herself on her choice.  And it breaks my heart.

If you know me at all, you know I rarely ever ask for the opinion of others when it comes to doing something that I perceive to be “my domain”.   It’s not that I feel I know more than others, but I do feel that when it comes to something I have to live with, my desire outweighs what anyone else has to say.  In some cases, even my dear husband gets no say in my decision.  (But I have a pretty special husband who allows me certain freedoms in our marriage because he understands that I am “unusual” and to try to make me more normal makes us both miserable….cause if “Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy”!)

If you are a pretty normal person and are truly happy just that way, then I stand and applaud you!  My tears are for the folks who are living someone else’s version of themselves.  I think there would be few things sadder than to be at death’s door and to think, “Dang, I wish I would have had the courage to dye my hair, get a tattoo, get a piercing, try acting or singing, taken that trip alone, or any of a thousand small or large things.

I’m afraid we always assume we will have the time to do the things we are putting off.   (Insert WARNING ALERT sound here).  I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but we are all walking time bombs.  There is no time but the present to act on your desires.   But I am getting a bit off my topic….

How many of you cannot make a single purchase without getting someone else’s opinion?  How many opinions do you need before adding them all up and going with the majority?  And what if what the majority wants, isn’t your first, second, or even third choice.  Do you abandon your desire because you are afraid to trust your own instincts?   I believe most folks lose their confidence in their own choices way back in grade school.  The first time you color that tree purple and the teacher says it is supposed to be green (I do hope that over the years more and more teachers have allowed purple trees and green dogs, etc) or when you dress yourself and your mom asks you, “You’re not really going to wear THAT, are you?”

If I had a supernatural gift, I would love for it to be the ability to give everyone the gift of self-confidence.  To impart the freedom that comes with having the confidence to swim against the current.  To dance to the beat of their own drums.  To sing with the notes of their spirit even if those notes are not listed in the music scales!  To have the courage to paint those trees purple and to delight in what they have made and not care one whit what anyone else says about their abilities.

Do you ever allow yourself the right to be yourself?  To fly when everyone else is walking?  I sure hope so even if it is just a few inches off the ground, it is a start!

So to my friend, if you are reading this, go for the hairstyle and the colors that make your heart sing and your family might just say, “Wow, I like it”! And you will just smile because you really didn’t give a rat’s a$$ if they did or not!!!!

I would love to hear about a time where you bucked convention and just went with what your own heart desired.  Or a time when you didn’t and now wish you would have!

Much love from the Queen who is DVRing the Super Bowl so I can skip the football and just watch the fun stuff!

 

WHO PUT THE GRAND IN GRANDPARENTS?

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image Sunday is Grandparent’s Day and until my husband and I became grandparents I just thought of it as another “Hallmark Holiday”.   A day created by the card company to make more money by making us feel guilty that we don’t spend enough time with our grandparents so we assuage it by buying cards and presents or making a perfunctory phone call.  Until I became a grandparent I never understood the love that a grandparent has for their children’s children.

Let’s look at the definition of what a grandparent is:  A parent of one’s mother or father; a grandmother or grandfather.

Technically that’s right but it is so much more than that so I am going to redefine it so all of you who are reading this will understand how shallow that definition is.

We will start with what a “Grandparent” is.  A grandparent is a person who has spent many years learning how to be selfless and self-sacrificing.  A person who has spent countless hours feeding, washing, changing, teaching, holding, comforting, encouraging, disciplining, worrying  and caring for their own children with the hope that someday they will be rewarded by having grandchildren to love.  Grandchildren are the perks of surviving parenthood.  The dessert  in the banquet of life.

What does a “Grandparent” do?

Wait, wait, wait…this is not turning out how I want.  Stay with me while I let my heart do the “talking” instead of my head.

I want to tell you about my grandparents and how it was when I was growing up and about my mom and dad and how they were as grandparents and how my husband and I wish our lives as grandparents could be.  Then you will be able to see how much more than just a “parent of a mother or father” grandparenting is.

Growing up I had two sets of grandparents.  My mom’s mother was a “perfect” grandparent.  Grandma Lou was loving and kind and always made you feel as though she had just had the greatest gift given to her when you came to her door.  Her face just beamed with joy at the sight of any of her grandchildren.  She loved us all equally and it didn’t matter if you were popular or pretty or what kind of grades you made.  She loved you just because you were her grandchild.  I loved staying at her house overnight.  I felt so secure.  So loved.  And when you left, she would stand in the big picture window and watch you get into the car and wave until you were out of sight. She wanted to enjoy every moment with you up till she could see you no more.  All of her grandchildren miss her now that she is gone and not one of them has a bad memory of her.  I aspire to be like that to my grandkids.

My other grandparents were nice enough and I have some fond memories of them but not like Grandma Lou.

My own parents were great at grand-parenting my daughter.  They loved her and she could do no wrong in their eyes.  My mom baby-sat her for the first three years of her life while I was a working mom and never once complained.  I knew that when I dropped my daughter off for the day, she was going to have fun and be loved and well taken care of.  My dad died when my daughter was just 8 but my mom has continued to be a wonderful example of a grandparent and now has the added title of Great-Grandmother to my daughter’s children.

So here I am, the grandmother of two (soon to be three) darling children and I now understand the love that my grandparents had for me and the love that my parents and my husband’s parents (who were also very, very good grandparents) had for my daughter.  My only regret is that now that I see how important it is to grandparents to be an active part in their grandkids lives,  it is too late.  My dad, and my mom-in-law are gone and my daughter is all grown up.  I never understood the connections between them.  I did not understand the need of the grandparents to have the grandkids around.  I wish I could go back and redo it.   I denied them their greatest joy by not making sure we saw them at least weekly.   It did not seem that important to me.

They say, “Hindsight is 20/20” and that is so true.  I can not go back but you can learn from my mistake.  If you are a young parent, remember this post.  Your children are the world to your parents.  Make time for them.  Let your children make precious memories with them.  Make spending time with them important.   And if you are still blessed to have your own grandparents around, go see them.  Be involved in their lives, too.  Because believe me, you will one day “Reap what you have sown” and how you treat your grandparents and your parents WILL come back to you.  If you want to be part of your future grandkids lives, then make grandparents important to your children.  If you don’t, then your kids won’t think it’s important for you to see yours!