Tag Archives: post office

Verborum Vomitus

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Verborum vomitus is Latin for “verbal vomit”.  I had a an attack of verborum vomitus today while at the post office.  It was not pretty.

I remember when I was a kid/teenager/adult and I would be with my mom and she would be checking out or something where she did not need to have a conversation with anyone but instead chatted the whole time, giving information that I knew the person being verbally vomited on could not care less about.  And I would feel bad for the person who had to listen.IMG_1430

Well Karma is a b*tch, ain’t it?

Because I have entered that phase of my life where Lord help me, I verbally vomit all over the place.  Add caffeine to the mix and I am like a college freshman after their first frat party….spewing forth all over the place.

My friends from church used to love when I would be at a party and have a cup or two of coffee because I would put on a verbal show for them.  Often when we would leave the party,  I would have to ask my poor daughter if I had crossed any lines as once I got going it was like I had lost all sense of decorum and stuff would just fly from my mouth without first having been sifted through my brain filter.  I have never taken speed but I can imagine it must be something like that.

So today I had to venture out to mail some packages and I did not want to get all cleaned up just to run to the post office (remember I live in the country, my mailman has seen me in every early morning get-up imaginable and every hair color/style/cut known to man so to run to the local PO in my painting clothes and no make-up is not a big deal.) but since I had gotten the notion to buzz on side of my head in the delusion of having a funkier hairstyle and it turned out looking like I have mange, I threw a scarf around my head and hoped to meet no one I knew.

Luckily as I pulled into the parking lot of the PO, there was nary a car there so I grabbed my packages and ran in.  I haven’t been to the PO in ages and the last time I was there, the Postmistress was not real friendly and so I was pleasantly surprised to see a new woman behind the counter and she was very friendly.

Big Mistake on her part….not only had I had two STRONG cups of coffee but I had also not eaten so I was on a wild caffeine high, plus when I get nervous, I talk more and faster and my voice octave rises.  OMG.  I chatted up such a storm that papers were flying around and she was forgetting to put labels on my packages, and yet, I kept talking….faster and faster…..higher and higher…..I felt like I could not stop eventhough I was getting this…..IMG_1429I even showed her my mange spot….dear Lord….what is wrong with me?

I can just imagine the story she will tell tonight over dinner about the crazy woman in the red crocs and purple sweats in the big black coat with a scarf around her head who has a bald spot in her orangutan orange hair because she thought she would look better with it cut like that…..man, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall!

Till next time,

I remain your caffeinated Queen

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NEITHER SNOW NOR RAIN NOR HEAT…JUST PAPERWORK

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I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older (and older people are crabby, right?) or if I have just had enough of poor service but I am going to rant about what happened to me this morning as I tried to mail a package.

I stopped at my local convenience store/post office this morning at 8:45am to grab some milk ($4.00 a gallon! Really?) and to mail off a PREPAID package.  I went up to the clerk, who has worked there for years, and I said I would like to just drop off the package as it was prepaid.  She looked at me as if I had just asked her if the next flight to the moon was on time.  Now I realize that my hair is kinda oddly colored (faded black with tones of purple and red hues) and it is weirdly cut (never force your husband to buzz your hair) but the bald spot has grown in somewhat and is not that noticeable anymore, but I have been going into that store for 24 years and she has waited on me many times and I am always polite and friendly, so the “look”  took me by surprise.        “Uh, I don’t do the mail”, she told me in a spacey, this-is-my-first-day-on-the-job-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-do, tone.  The “post office” is literally two steps away from her spot and I have often given my mail to the clerk working the cash register so this was unexpected.  Ok, I thought.  Maybe the post office part doesn’t open until 9am, so I said to her, “Oh, is the post office not open yet?”.   Once again I got “the look”.  “Uh, ya it’s open….(looking at me with a “lights-on-but-nobody-home” stare) “but he’s in the back doing paperwork”.    Stare, stare, stare.

Now I’m starting to get ticked….and I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise.  I am thinking, “Ok sweetheart, what am I supposed to do now?”.   The stinkin’ package is PREPAID for goodness sake.  So we stare at one another.  I’m getting ready to pull a “Jodi” on her (my sister…you don’t want to mess with her) when she takes the package and mumbles something about maybe putting it over two feet to the post office counter.   I am dumbfounded.  This is an adult woman.  (I am getting a headache just writing about it!)  I would expect this kind of behavior from a teen on her first day of work, not knowing the ropes but this woman has been there for years.

Know had she told me that she couldn’t accept the package, as you have to be an employee of the Postal Service and I would have to go get the postal clerk, no problem.  Seems to me, tho, that he should be doing the paperwork at the counter so if someone needs him, he is available since the post office is OPEN.  But the fact that she just left me hanging, really upset me.

What ever happened to “The customer is always right”?   I am still shocked at the poor manner of service I get everywhere I go.  And anyone who knows me knows I am always nice and friendly so I know it isn’t just me.   Just more evidence of our decaying society.  I cannot imagine what this world will be like when my grandbabies are adults.  Heaven help us all.