Monthly Archives: May 2017

Why Am I Hearing Voices….Or Am I?

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Most of you know I am a horror film buff.

IMG_1744Which is so weird since I was afraid of EVERYTHING growing up and into adulthood. I had a startle-reflex that was always on HIGH ALERT.  My husband used to torment me by poking his head over the shower curtain even after I had locked the bathroom door (never marry a man who can pick a lock).  And I was terrified of the dark and living out in the woods where there are no street lights, etc. when it was dark, it was BLACK.

 

But then I started taking drugs for high blood pressure which slows my heartbeat (and my metabolism and I have gained 50 pounds) and a drug for panic disorder which also has totally made me a semi-non-feeling person and now I even take an anti-anxiety drug to help me sleep at night so I guess you can say I am in a state of “mellowness” most of the time. (But trust me, it is not a good mellowness….more of a state of “grayness of feeling”….no highs, no lows…just a nothingness….but that is a topic of another post).  So most of my fears are gone….

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So I watch these movies in the dark, by myself, and it used to be that my husband was gone overnight and that made watching them even more “delicious”.   And rarely, do any of them frighten me.  But I will not normally sleep with an arm or leg off the bed….for two reasons….one: everyone knows that if you hang something off the bed something evil will grab it….but since I either sleep on a blow up bed that has no “underneath” or in my camper on the dinette set where you would have to be a tiny creature to fit under there (and when I sleep in my tent bed, then I zip myself in and nothing can get to me!!!!) I really should not worry about that.  Second reason:  my dog has been known to sneak into our room and touch my hand or leg, whichever has accidentally roamed off the safety of the bed, which causes me to have a nanosecond dream that something is touching my hand and I wake up with a scream (which may or may not come out of my mouth….ever dreamt you were screaming but nothing was coming out????)

Anyway, yesterday morning I was sleeping in our bedroom (moved my bed from the basement bedroom back into our room for the summer since I usually sleep in my camper all summer) and I heard little kid voices.  Now, it was not my usual crack of dawn 10am wake up, but much earlier and I could not understand why I would hear kids voices since there are very few children on my road and none of my windows were open.  I usually wear earplugs when I sleep and I have noticed that occasionally I will hear someone call my name or my dog bark or yap and when I take out my earplugs, I realized that the voice or sound was in my head…..(cue the Twilight Zone music) so I had wondered if that were the case.  Then I heard it again and I was fully awake and had no earplugs in so I got up and looked outside and there were no kids in my yard or at the door (I thought maybe my daughter had dropped by unannounced and they were in the front porch….highly unlikely….but it kinda did sound like my grands) so I just went about my business and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down in the living room to check up on what everyone was doing on FaceBook.  I am sitting there, in the quiet, when all of a sudden I hear “whispering”….and I can tell you my heart started to beat a little harder.  What on earth is going on?  And my imagination jumps to all the movies where the doomed people start hearing voices…..and then it happens again followed by my grandson’s voice from when he was much younger saying, “M is for missing you when you are gone”!

I don’t mind sharing with you all that I was now freaking out.  WHERE AM I GOING AND WHY IS MY GRANDSON TELLING ME THIS??????  Then I hear the whispers again, and my grandson repeating his forewarning.  I am wracking my brain as to what my daughter could have used to record this and was it meant for my husband as he was gone for a couple of days and we had stopped to see the grands before he left and how on earth did she get it to my house since I had not left it.

Finally it hits me!  A few years ago, I had given my daughter a book for her to record Jack and Lola’s voices reading a story about loving their grandmother and a few days prior, I had taken it out of my curio cabinet for the kids to listen to and when I put it back, I stood it upright and the vibration of people walking by the cabinet must have opened the book to a page and it must be so sensitive to movement that it would go off periodically (I have puzzles and other toys that go off randomly….geez….it never occurred to me till right now….is it really RANDOM????  Cue scary music…..). And the whispering I heard was my daughter telling the kids what to say since they were both way too young to read.

Now, I ask you….what would you have thought had this happened to you?????   And do you sleep with an arm or leg over the bed?????

Inquiring Elvira Queens want to know……

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Blame It On Orlando Bloom

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Normally I will take the blame when I do something knuckleheaded but not today.  No siree, this time the blame falls straight into Orlando Bloom’s gorgeous lap.IMG_1732We all know that he and Katy Perry dated for quite awhile and there were even rumors that they were engaged.  But then after the Grammy Awards we hear that they have split up and what does Katy do post Bloom?   She gets her hair all cut off!

I have watched Katy with much interest since she is a girl after my own hair-coloring heart and I swooned over her bright purple locks and applauded her royal blue tresses and even gave her kudos for going green….I mean, the woman is downright GORGEOUS no matter what color her hair is.  And while I have thought it would be fun to have hair like hers,  I never was interested in having long locks (tho, I have had bright purple and royal blue hair).  But this new hair do……YOWZER!!!!!!!

IMG_1733I am in hair heaven…..HAIR HEAVEN, I SAY……and anyone who knows me knows that once I get a glimpse of hair heaven, I am ready and willing and not-so-able to get there.

Because I have yet to throw out my buzz clippers (TMI moment….I also use them on my dog….if I start sitting down and raising my leg up to scratch behind my ear, I better get checked for fleas…..hahaha….ya, like I could get my leg up to my ear…I kill myself….ahaha ha”) I thought today, “I can do that”.   But possums, we know I CAN’T but Lord knows that never stops me.  I think I may some a new psychological malady that I will call, “Definite Delusional Disorder Personality” for no sane person attempts to do the impossible time and time again expecting different results.

I should learn how to put my face over the faces of the women who’s hair dos I want to wear and see how they would look on me BEFORE trying to cut my hair like theirs.   But then again, what would be the point since I won’t be able to cut my hair like their’s anyway.  But still I keep doing it….(Huh, my momma didn’t raise no quitter.  My momma is now thinking, “QUIT, QUIT….for the love of all that is holy, QUIT CUTTING YOUR FREAKIN’ HAIR OFF”!!!)

So here are the results of my Katy Perry wanna-be-hair-cut…..as soon as I get the products, I am going to be bleaching my hair out and MAYBE letting it get white or completely dye it green for the summer….who knows….depends on my mood that day.   Please excuse the goofy poses as I have yet to acquire the “art of the selfie”.

Your ever crazy Queen,

Robyn